Letter from a Mom whose son has ADHD and Autism
I was sent a letter the other day by a lady called Kate, who’s son has ADHD and Autism. Kate asked me if I would publish this letter for her.
Related Article: The Benefits of Workshops For Parents of Children With Special Needs
So here it is:
Dear members of the public,
From all parents of children with special needs.
Children with special needs like ADHD and Autism sometimes have meltdowns, and often these meltdowns happen in public.
Meltdowns are NOT tantrums and are not the result of bad parenting. So please don’t pass judgement or stare.
When our child is having a meltdown it is very distressing for the child and for us. Your stares and comments make us feel much worse than we already do.
If it bothers you please just ignore us, look the other way and carry on with your day.
If you would like to help, just a nice smile of support to show that you empathise and are not judging, is all we ask.
But please do not stare. Please do not sigh at us. And please do not make judgmental comments as you walk past.
Yours sincerely
Kate Lewis
Mom to Oscar Lewis who has ADHD and Autism.
I would Like to say a huge thank you to Kate for sending me this letter to share with you all.
I too have been in the situation many times, where my son has had a meltdown in the middle of a very public place, and it is so difficult to deal with, and it becomes a million times harder when people around you are tutting or muttering under their breath something about how ‘that child needs a good smack’ or how I’m ‘a bad parent for not disciplining him’.
Related Article: How to Make Life Easier For a Special Needs Parent
What these people don’t understand is that, when a child with special needs has a meltdown, the worst thing the parent could do is to discipline the child at that point. Meltdowns are not tantrums and what they need during a meltdown is calmness and support.
The judgment of strangers makes the parent more stressed and certainly doesn’t help the child.
If you’d like to learn more about Meltdowns, click here to read the article ‘How to Deal With Meltdowns in 3 Easy Steps’.
Comment below if you have also been in the situation where your child has had a meltdown in public, did you get the judgmental stares or did anyone do anything which helped?
yeah that tue, i really can’t imagine for all da things you dealin with, iam preparing special needs children and chromosomal disoders on my reseach roposal for my thesis in hargaisa somaliland so thank ur letter was such a inspiation.
You’re very welcome, good luck with your thesis ?